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Power and Control

Domestic violence is a pattern of behaviors used to gain or maintain power and control and can look different from relationship to relationship.

Emotional Abuse
Intimdation
Coercion

Using Coercion and Threats

Using Intimidation

Using Emotional Abuse

  • Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt you

  • Threatening to leave you, to commit suicide, to report you to welfare

  • Making you drop charges

  • Making you do illegal things

  • Making you afraid by using looks, actions, gestures

  • Smashing or breaking things

  • Destroying your property

  • Abusing pets

  • Displaying weapons

  • Putting you down

  • Making you feel bad about yourself

  • Calling you names

  • Making you think you're crazy 

  • Playing mind games

  • Humiliating you

  • Making you feel guilty

Minimizing
Children
Isolation

Using Isolation

Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming

Using Children

  • Controlling what you do, who you see and talk to, what you read, where you go

  • Limiting your outside involvement

  • Using jealousy to justify actions

  • Making light of the abuse and not taking your concerns about it seriously

  • Saying the abuse didn't happen

  • Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior

  • Saying you caused it

  • Making you feel guilty about the children

  • Using the children to relay messages

  • Using visitation to harass you

  • Threatening to take the children away

Privilege
Economic Abuse

Using Privilege

Using Economic Abuse

  • Treating you like a servant

  • Making all the big decisions

  • Acting like the "master of the castle"

  • Being the one to define gendered roles

  • Preventing you from getting or keeping a job

  • Making you ask for money

  • Giving you an allowance

  • Taking your money

  • Not letting you know about or have access to family income

If you believe you are a victim of domestic violence or sexual assault in San Juan County and need help, please call or email SAFE San Juans.

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